| This SUCKS!!! |
[Jan. 28th, 2006|01:43 pm] |
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Well, yesterday was ABSOLUTELY the worst! There were LOTS of tears, all over the place!! "This is the person your boy MURDERED!" What do you say to this...how do you respond or react. I didn't say anything. All they kept saying to the judge was that he was cold-hearted and that he wasn't sorry about what happened! BULL! He has been sorry since DAY 1. I talked...I was NERVOUS...couldn't stop shaking...unfortunately I rambled, it was unintentional and I wish I didn't, it made me look unprofessional. I pleaded with the judge to think about his age, his NON CRIMINAL history, and asked for good graces. Told the judge he was responsible, hard working, considerate and more. He spoke. First he addressed the family of the victims, said he was sorry, especially for the children. He called me beautiful and told me he loved me. I cried. The time came and the judge started talking to him. The judge said he had a "hardened heart". I wanted to yell, "What person says that? He doesn't have a hardened heart he is so sweet, caring, and KIND hearted. He WOULDN'T have done it if he wasn't SCARED!!" The judge said that this act was of a person with a hardened heart. He put his head down. Then the judge read the sentence. He received 2 sentences....1 of Natural Life, no chance of parole and the other sentence of 25 to life, with a chance of parole. He has to serve the natural life sentence first. I lost it, I couldn't stop crying, it was BAD! He couldn't even look at me. The victim's families were very happy, which I can understand. They said things to us on the way out of the court room. We waited till they all left. I couldn't stop crying. We went out in the hall, I sat against the wall. Everyone was hugging me and telling me it would ok. "How can they tell me that! That's my LIFE in there, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with!! How is this going to be ok?" After all of our family left I went back in the courtroom. He was still in there. He was so happy to see me. He motioned to me that he loved me. I just want to hug him. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|09:10 pm] |
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Tomorrow is THE day....I am SO nervous. I don't even know where to begin to tell how I feel. I am feeling very apprehensive. I am not sure what is going to happen. His lawyers told me they want me to talk in front of the judge. I am DEFINATELY scared out of MY MIND! I have written a few things down...hopefully it will come out good! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2006|12:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  silly | ] |
OK, so I am VERY excited!!
AZ SnowBowl has gotten a total of 17" of snow so far!! Hopefully more is on the way!
It is almost time to go snowboarding!! |
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| I wish I knew ALL the answers.... |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|02:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
Well, I went down and saw my Lonny today. I was exicted at first. The more I think about us being together the more I worry about NOT being together. I told him today that I was deciding to go back to being straight edge and focusing on my life with God. I thought he would be more proud of me but I guess he feels like I am shutting him off and I don't need him. He's right though, I don't NEED him. I just LOVE him and I don't want to be without him. It kills me because Lonny doesn't think we are going to make it through all this. The sentencing is in 7 days. I just wish I knew all the answers to life's tough questions, of course though, that is WHY God is in my life, for me to realize I NEED Him! |
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| Something to think about.... |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|02:32 pm] |
If I left a legacy of words
It would be to hold no anticipations
But always be prepared
It would be to challenge they way others think
To challenge the way you think
Challenge all authority, but obey it with care
Never say I love you just to get your way
And never love someone so much they always get theirs
That slow and steady doesn't necessarily win the race
Sometimes you have to be fast, unafraid, and cunning
I would teach people that if you cum with someone its not just fucking
It's a promise of forever you sometimes never intend to keep
That to make it in this world you don't need to climb the ladder
You need to build it
And that sometimes art is just the absence of your hope
But it can be someone else's
And never let them know they got to you
Never ever let them see you cry |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|09:31 pm] |
EVERYONE should go Follow - Thru is a GREAT band!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|05:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Kids in the Way | ] |
Well, today was the first day of my lab....I missed it! My STUPID ASS alarm clock did NOT go off! I even made SURE it would last night....I called the instructor and left a message telling her I was sorry and "I was in a car accident". I just DON'T want to be DROPPED from my Lab class. I need this lab BADLY!!
Oh, and they did a QE on me @ work today and I think I am just REALLY getting TIRED of working @ SkyMall...I have NO idea WHAT my problem is because I am a nice person and most of the time I work really hard at pleasing the customer. It just comes across as me being a bitchy person. Which confuses me because that is NOT how I am. |
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